maggi noodles.

as i drove home from work today..
at about 10.30pm..

on the highway..
i felt the sudden need to eat maggi noodles..
curry or chicken flavoured..
i was craving it really badly.
maybe cuz i've been reading alot of Boey's blog..
and how he really likes instant noodles.

haha..

this week and last has been hectic.
i come home later than 9 everyday.
and i felt tired and fed up.

i thought, today i'm gonna reward myself (regardless of skipping working out for 3 weeks!!)
and cook myself maggi noodles.. and, i wanted an egg too.

in my mind, i was already picturing how my lovely yummy tasty noodles is gonna look like.
then i felt guilty.
cuz maggi noodles is all CARB.
and it's getting so late already.

but i argued with myself.
i said, i deserved it.
and i will EAT IT.

but then i felt fat again.
then i realize, shit, my period's coming soon.

and then, the song, IF I WERE A BOY by Beyonce started playing.
i sang along but to a different lyric :

if i were a boy, i won't have this thing called period,
i wont have to buy pads,
and worry about being fat,
i hate feeling cold,

dadada.. couldnt make up any lyrics..

i'd have beer every night,
and chase after.. boys.


#foreveralone.

but i reached home, went to the kitchen and found this.

i just opened the fridge, took out some papaya and stared at it as i swallow the papaya.
the maggi noodles didnt seem so important anymore.

appreciation

this week i learnt about appreciation.
especially my parents.

this week i learnt that.. again, life is very short.
it's really short.

this week i learnt about letting go.
especially letting go of people who have already let go of you a long time ago.

this week i learnt that, time is every second you make worth of.
living life to the fullest.

this week i learnt to get out from my comfort zone.
especially when exploring the countries of a completely different living style.

this week i learnt health is important.
never take it for granted.

this week i learnt that friends are essential.
especially friends who take time to call you and message you everyday.

this week i learnt that i am truly blessed.
thank you, God.

today, i reached the office at 8.45am.
i was expecting a slight jam cuz Jasmine always whatsapp us during that time and says it's jam..
oh wait. it's usually around 9.30am that she says its jam.

anyways, i had to go in early cuz, we have like a million submissions this week.
and Boss3 is in China at some furniture expo or something.

his project is one of the big submissions this week.

whatever.
and because he is in China, I had to take over.
but I already had a few other big projects on my hand..
so, I had to pass it to my junior.

which.. i really dont like doing.
i dont like sharing projects.
it's not that i dont trust my colleagues..
it's just, sometimes, they dont get what i want.. and i cant explain what i want.
so it's best i do it on my own.
so, i can get the BEST results that i want.

but i had no choice, Boss1 said give.
i had to give.
cuz he needed me to focus on the other bigger projects as well.

but before i left work yesterday, i checked the visuals that my junior did.
erm.
he did a few things wrongly.
and i wasnt really impressed.

so that's why i had to go in earlier today.
re-rendered some stuff.
and cuz my damn 3DsMax in my PC is being a poo poo head again..
i can't use my own computer.

oh well.

this week has been really slow and stressful.
i recap all the things i did.
and not one i feel proud of..
except today..
today i did a 3D for a sky lounge.
Boss2 came to look at it.
he said "It's nice."
i melted.

i dunno it's cuz it was Boss2 who said it.. or because he said, "IT'S NICE."

hahaha..

i havent final rendered it yet cuz it takes for freakin' ever.
gotta wait till Boss1 returns to the office tmrw to check.
so, i'm gonna wait.
but submission is also tmrw.

i don't wanna OT cuz i wanna go for CG.
i have so many things to tell them.
and so many testimonies to share!

it's raining now.
i waiting for laundry to be done.

when you least expect.

when they say, life is short.

indeed it is.

do you realize, the person we lie most to.. is to ourselves?

we make promises to ourselves.. empty promises.
many things we said, but didn't do.

there's much difference from a thinker and a doer.. i read this from a friend's tweet.

so true.

we often give ourselves excuses..
they could be big excuses and well, they could be minor ones.

today.
i thought of Bryant again.
there is never a day that goes by that i do NOT think of him.
i mean, it's hard.
i pass by his condo every day to and from work.
i remember the first time i sat in his car and he yelled, "Stupid idiot!" when a car suddenly turn to our direction.
i remember laughing at him for yelling cuz he never calls anyone stupid.
i remember him helping us set up an interview for our first project in year 2.
i remember him saying he likes to use the traffic light so he doesnt have to cut lanes later.
i remember him telling me about getting the first gen iPhone.
i remember him.
everyday, i remember him.

i guess i was the hardest to digest the news.
i was not around.
i was on holiday.
i did not know how to feel.
will it be wrong to feel happy cuz i was on holiday.
will he be angry with me for not saying goodbye one last time?
but knowing Bryant he will just call me silly.

i held back my tears as i sat in the ferry.
i did not know how to feel.

maybe thats why till now, i have not really gotten over it.
i miss him sometimes.

too many things have happened this year.
too many things that happen without expectations.
good things and bad things.

Sunday School

so nothing really happened today except church.. and i slept all day cuz i was exhausted from last night.

i was on duty at church today.
had some little kids to teach and all..

i'm always the mean teacher.
the one that drags kids out.
the one that yells and ask everybody to keep quiet.

well, the one not many will like.
but, the one some remember most. :)

there were two kids today that really ticked me off.
i understand, they're kids.
they're hyper and i can't blame them.

so i was thinking about all the discipline lectures i was gonna give them.

and.. how i was gonna tell their parents that they misbehaved in class..
but in reality, i dunno how.

oh well.

so i just brought them to the "BABY CLASS" cuz well, kids being kids, they wanna sound mature and big and shit like that..

i brought them there, sat them there and said, "Since you do not know how to act your age, it's time to learn from the beginning again." And i walked out.

i really wanted their parents to know how badly they behaved that day..

but, in the end, they were brought back cuz head of school already gave them a lecture and they said sorry to me.

of course i forgave them.

this is a really long post.

Lyd just messaged me on FB telling me she won an iPad.
i asked her what apps have she gotten..
she told me the typical stuff and an app that resembles magic cards.
i told her to not bring it for yumcha.

she said she won't.

haha..
i'm just happy she got a free iPad.
i guess God really knows what we want and when He gives..
He does.

so, my FREE SAMSUNG NOTE 2 should be on its way then. :)

Suzy's Sister Wedding

today was Suzanne's sister's wedding.

we thought of it as a 2nd prom night cuz during our high school prom night, Suzanne wasn't there.

but, this time, Ruth wasn't around.

it's okay, we have another chance on the 28th. :D

i'm really exhausted.

the night was filled with lots of laughter..

and damn, Suzanne's dad can really drink.

he's a really nice and funny uncle.

he likes to talk to us about his marathons.

Suzanne's mom was hot.

so fair and so elegant.

Suzanne's sister was also really pretty.

Suzanne, was awesome AND hot.

we've never really seen her in a dress and make up cuz she's always I DONT CARE I HATE DRESSING UP kinda girl.

this was like a breath of fresh air.

the five of us gossiped all night and ate lotsa good food.

it started pretty late and the waiters were rushing the food in and out.

we weren't even done yet and they kept changing our plates.

over all, the food was WAY better than i had during my uncle's wedding last year.

and, they had LIVE FEED for video.

though the sound system still sucked.

the live band was good.

singer had a great voice.

i like live bands during weddings.

the mood is more relaxed.

well, i've deiced i'm gonna play Far East Movement and Big Bang all night during my wedding.

and hang a disco ball in the middle of the dance floor.

everyone has to dance.

and here's a photo of us. [ :) ]

me awesome, eunice amazeballs, cutie suzy, smashing yen woon and foxy cathy.

 

strudels and starbucks.. ooh. onions too.

i was about to slack for today.
like oh well, nobody reads my stuff anymore.. why bother keeping it up.
but, recently i'm so into Boey, a Malaysian animator who was the LEAD ANIMATOR for the games Diablo2 and 3.. i felt so much respect for him.
he had this book called When I Was a Kid. (GET IT! IT'S FAWESOME)
it illustrates his childhood and while growing up.

i love every page and laughed at every strip.

anyways, he updates his visual blog everyday.
and that's even harder than keeping a journal.

he's having an autograph session at Popular next Saturday!
I'M GONNA ASK HIM TO SIGN MY BOOK! :D
that is, if my boss has returned it to me..
he's such a slow reader. XD

anyways.
i didnt wanna slack cuz i was thinking of updating everyday if possible.

in other words, i'm trying to be as semangat as him.

haha..

erm.

yeah.

today's Friday, so our typical Friday nights will be spent at mamaks, Starbucks, McD or some where till we figured our stomach hurts from all the laughing.

it's quite hilarious every time.
today we found out Seohun didnt know spring onions came from onions..
she was so amazed and has decided to grow a vegetable patch in her new place.
oh, she also wants sunflowers cuz they're yellow.
it's like a 3 year old girl saying she likes pink.

today we had Starbucks and Thingy brought me Apple Strudels! :)
i was ecstatic!
yeah, we ate them at Starbucks with their napkins.
they were so good!!! the strudels i mean.

also, bumped into Johnathan.
who also asked me shit like, "HOW'S YOU AND YOUR BOSS? Ray told me stuff."
and this is when i felt like slapping Ray across his face for spreading rumors about me.
it's seriously pissing me off.

anyways.
moving on.
i've a wedding to attend tmrw.
so many weddings.

and i havent withdraw money for the angpao.
*sigh*

oh, and also got lectured from Thingy cuz of buying RM400 bucks concert tickets and complain about buying at RM150 dress.

mehs.
i've priorities.
he told me i should've used it for traveling.
i will..
next year.

an offer you cannot refuse

So lately my HTC Desire HD has been acting up a lot.

i really don't wanna replace it cuz it's only a 1 year and a half young.

my previous phones all lasted me 4 good years.

Nokia, you're still my number one.

anyways. 

it went into a coma twice the day before..

and today, while i was scrolling through my messages, the game WHERE'S MY WATER came on on its own.

i almost died of a heart attack when the theme song started playing and all i could do was give my phone a wtf face..

and i started complaining to my colleagues.

all they did was laugh and smile.

i guess it wasnt too funny.

sigh.

we had a design briefing today with a big client..

a client we've been dealing for a few projects.. and A LOT of shit has been taken to my brain while doing their projects.

at first we were ecstatic cuz we were still appointed to be their design slaves..

cuz , hey, big business.

i was happy cuz that meant my bonus is gonna be huge.

then, we realized, we werent the only company appointed..

which means, my bonus is now split into half.

which means, we are now in a war.

which means, my "EUROPE TRIP" planned for 2013 is floating further away.

which means.. BRING IT ON.

ok. i really want a good trip next year.

i have a lot planned and a lot of places i want to visit and see.

doesnt matter.

then after the meeting, as my boss and i were hanging out in the client's staff's office, to help her out with a current project we're handling as well.. she gave us some "tips" and it felt like i was in a James Bond movie or something.

doesnt matter.

as she was going about her work, my boss sat there sorting out the art pieces and i sat there whatsapp-ing my friends.. then i sighed.. i said, "I'm stressed. Now we gotta fight with another company for my Europe trip!!!" He was slumber bout it.. he said, "No worries, we already have a head start! :D "

doesnt matter.

i then said, "ARGH. my phone is giving me so much problems! i wanna buy a new phone already!"

He then said, "WAIT! don't buy yet la.. wait. wait for NOTE 2!" 

i told him i am waiting for that phone..

he then made me an offer i couldnt refuse.. "Why don't we buy you the phone? Company phone. We pay for the phone, the bills and the line... but.. no bonus for you."

then i said, "HUH.. even if u give me the bonus i will still use it to buy the phone.."

he then said. "WHY YOU WASTE YOUR BONUS ON A PHONE!!! ok.. We buy you the phone.. and then give you an ang pau.. but no bonus.. you get me? think about it.. if we buy you the phone, you get it NOW. Honestly we havent even calculated bonuses yet!"

so, i was like..

oh shit. 

how?

what if my bonus is 2 MONTHS BONUS?

i just kept giving myself reasons why would this happen to me?

i never get free shit.

never.

i never win lucky draws.

i never win bets.

i never win anything!!

but this..

this is different..

i just kept thinking about it..

then on the way home.. i remembered last month, i asked God slumberly for a freaking FREE SAMSUNG NOTE 2.

like.. just aah, not as if it's so easy to win or get a free phone..

just as how i said not as easy to get a job i will love..

and just as how i said slumberly i wanted a new car..

then i felt.. wow.

now the problem is.. should i take my boss' offer?

does this mean, if i were to "quit" next year, i've to give the phone back??

thought of the day

so today's my grandma's birthday.

i'm just glad she's healthy and happy.

all i really care about is her being happy.

took her to 1U for Japanese cuz she really likes Japanese cuisine.

bumped into Jit too.. 

damn random cuz he just stood there in front of me.

today i wore a skirt to work, cuz i thought it's my grandma's birthday, might as well dress a little nicer.

my bosses gave me the "eyebrow wiggle" and asked what's going on today..

i just smiled and left early (with boss' permission of course)

i had to leave early cuz my parents threatened to call my office and ask my bosses to let me go.

funny thing happened today..

we are appointed to design for a few big clients.

so, HELLO big bonuses! :)

only have God to thank.

sometimes it's just really hard to explain things that happen.. but i have this feeling that someone's just out there looking after me.

i'm not gonna say it's all pretty rainbows and cupcakes in my life..

but it's cuz i go through them that make me a stronger person now.

 :)

also, check out our FB page? 

the Crumbs project is designed by yours truly. ;) 

ah!

today i was thinking, more than usual again.. 

do i really wanna open an ID company?

it's tough.

so so tough.

i've never really pictured myself being a boss or owning something SO big.

honestly never dared dreaming about it either.

i always pictured myself working for somebody.. 

and always had stuff done for me before i took over a certain job.

then i was thinking,

WHY dont i do free lancing?

why?

why do i sub out my free lance work to my other friends and not take at least a fraction of the pay?

i mean, i am the one who gave them the job..

right?

i dunno.. i guess i am not that kinda person who passes work to others and claims the cash?

i dunno.

then again, i kinda felt a bit sad cuz my friends never said thank you.

hmm..

i also kinda feel like buying a new phone.

so, the question now is.. to buy a new phone or to travel?

Christmas is coming too.. i wanna go somewhere!

anywhere's fine.

maybe Singapore again?

parents are prolly going to Bangkok.

OMG WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!

so today i decided to revive back my blog. *blows dust*

i've been thinking a lot lately..

like.. more than usual.. 

i usually only think about what i wanna eat for lunch and what my parents cooked for dinner..

so, today, i thought about more stuff..

like, what exactly is my goal in life?

what do i wanna achieve?

i always say i want to travel.

but just the other day, the bestpren asked me to go backpacking in Philippines coming January.. without second thought i turned down his offer.

he tried his best to convince me.

all i said was, "I've no money lah!" and "Not enough leave lah!"

then he said, "Buy first! think later!" and  "It's a long weekend!! Just needa take ONE day off."

I kept thinking, yeah, buy first, later no money then how? take leave later emergency, HOW?

then today it kinda hit me.

life is so short.

i wont know what's gonna happen tmrw.. what more next year?

maybe i would strike the jackpot.. right, not as if i buy lottery tickets or whatever.

but, i dunno, maybe my company strikes a huge ass client and we get a huge ass bonus? 

then i was also thinking, damn. i have so many weddings to attend this month till the end of the year.

1. Angpau money gonna cost me a bomb.

2. OHMYFRIGGINGSKYMOONANDSTARS. I'M IN THIS STAGE ALREADY?

so i pondered, why don't i have a boyfriend? or anything close?

lol. 

i kinda figured out why.

1. i'm too weird. i talk to myself too much. even in public.

erm. yeah. that was the only reason i could figure out..  and as i was thinking about it.. i was talking about it out loud.. in public.

oh..

2. tall. i'm too tall. even malaysia boutiques dont provide dresses for girls my height..

i only know that cuz i've been shopping for dresses for weddings for the pass 8 years.. i look like i'm wearing a t-shirt more than a dress..

last weekend, i bought a RM150 dress.. 

and decided i'm gonna wear it for ALL the weddings i'm about to attend..

come on.. nobody will know..

well, except the people on my FB when they see my photos and go, "OMG. OUTFIT REPEATER."

AND you cuz i.. just told you about it.

then i was thinking.. 

shit. i'm 24 this year.. and there's not ONE thing i've achieved.

no backpacking in Thailand yet.

still do NOT know how to swim

havent gone diving.

or skydiving

havent been to Korea or learn Korean

been to a club once. well, i guess this is rather achieved. (erm, Butter anyone?)

then i realized,

i am kinda not doing these things because of my job.. i love it too much.

cant travel cuz i've minimum leaves and cant bear anyone to do my work while i'm away.

didnt go learn swimming/Korean classes cuz i end work late. weekends are too tiring to go out.

club, well. nvm that. 

suddenly, it hit me,

shit, claire chan. you horrible procrastinator!

oh, i also am addicted to iamboey.com

have you guys seen his comics?

hilarious.

then i was watching this vid.

 

i used to love this song when i was in primary school..

but never knew what the title was.. till Paradise Fears did a cover of it.

i love it! now, i added a new goal to achieve.. make a youtube video. 

but i'll prolly be too much of a chicken to actually come through with it.

lols.

we'll see.